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May. 6th, 2016


"help me lose weight"

so when I get emails and messages of people saying i'm x weight and I want to be x weight and I want a buddy etc. i'm sitting here thinking.... why do you need someone else to hold you accountable? get some self control. "ana buddies" started out as not wanting to be alone/competition buddies. yeah cheerleading was there, but mostly you worked on your self and used your buddy's results to motivate you to run that extra mile. and also be there for each other during tough times. there is so much of a difference with how ana stuff used to be like in 2002-4 and how it is after it got blew out and became a fad and banned and all kinds of stuff. I really think the majority of the public got it wrong. sigh. whatevs. don't message me wanting to lose weight. i'm not a weight loss fairy. just stop eating. people say it doesn't work, trust me, it works. or if you don't want to stop eating, then exercise. more than you want to. until you pass out. three hours a day at least. and no more than 1000 calories a day. make that 900. and vary calorie days down to 200 or 300 and back up. make up some awesome reason why you are only allowed to have 500 calories on a Wednesday. etc etc.
i mean really, why don't people do this all the time?????
oh wait..... they can't....
they don't have the will power.
okay, quit messaging me.

Aug. 6th, 2015



Hi I'm new/I'm back

Hi everyone, I'm so glad I finally found an active account.
So I used to be on LJ years ago and I made some awesome friends via it. My ED did kind of 'calmed down' but it's back really strong so I decided to come back to LJ because it did used to get me through some bad times.
So a little about me:
I'm 24 years old and I'm a PhD student.
CW: 7st 10lbs, CGW:7st.
I have had an ED for 10 years now. It started off as anorexia and gradually turned into bulimia. Now it's more just the anorexia, occasionally I will purge.
I'm a recovering addict and spent 4 months in rehab; I'm over 3 years sober *woop woop*.
I used to be a self-harmer.
And I've been vegan for over a year.

Enough about that, so....

I've been eating really awful just lately. Approximately 2000cals a day :( sad times.
But I'm determined for that to change. Yesterday I had 1200cals and today (after dinner that is) I will have 670cals. That is so much better. About a month ago I was 8st which really upset me as I haven't been that heavy since I stepped into rehab where I weighed 8st 1lbs.
I've done a bunch of exercise today as well. So I'm feeling good about today. It's going well so far, as long as I don't mess it up later.

Looking forward to meeting new people and hopefully make new friends.

Love Emz xx

Mar. 15th, 2015



Finally figured out how to post here. wow. live journal has changed soo much. pretty much the last of the diary site in existence... anyway, i'm 28, have been on the internet since 1999 (last century?) and have moved about sites. I was in recovery for three years and in that three years the internet has changed a lot. (in finding ED stuff)... all of the old sites are gone, most of my old friends are in recovery.... honestly, I just can't do life without ana anymore. It was a hard winter for me, and this I feel is my way back to living.

anyway, hoping to find friends. I don't mind ages, if you don't. I don't give out tips really, but help if needed. I've been through it all: low weights, hospitals, NG Tubes, recovery, setbacks, "dieting" for years. anorexic for 12 years now. my recovery has gotten me to ghastly weight. but that won't be for long.

Jan. 31st, 2015


Day 3

Okay so today i didnt fast sadly... I ate healthy atleast, i had a muffin for breakfast jamba juice smoothie and energy bowl for lunch and falafel balls and sweet potato fries for lunch... Im starting a week fast tomorrow might have a couple bites if i start to feel deathly ill but ill keep you updated. But i am feeling rather large right now but kinda satisfied which is bad but thats all my food for the week so its okay.

Jan. 30th, 2015


Day 2

I've been home alone since 6 am and its now 12:30 haven't eaten a single bite of food ad haven't even thought about it. The only thing is im freezing and kind of shakey. Other than that i think im feeling pretty good. It just sucks that trying to fast you feel like you should loose weight like right away and look like all those perfect skinny people who show so much perfect bone and have that amazing thigh gap... but that takes time and that fact makes me so depressed that i have fast for like a month to be just a quarter of the way there. I wonder how long I can go without eating... I am just going to get smoothies while i'm out of town with my mom this weekend and i'll get the smallest size there is and not drink it all... i hope to God that this works. I just keep trying to imagine myself skinny and pretty and perfect.

Jun. 14th, 2014


disgusted in myself

My name is Kendra. Hi.
Please don't judge me, but, I'm 5'9" and I weigh over 200 pounds because of a disease i have. I am disgusted in myself, I cut, I burn. I need tips fast. I want to get rid of my ugly fatness. Please help..

HW- 290 yeah, gross.
LW- I don't know.
GW- 150 - 160
CW- 290

Jan. 21st, 2014



5"3 140lbs :( help and support?

Jan. 10th, 2014


The new girl

Ok so I'm new here as well. I struggle everyday worrying about my weight, as it seems we all do. If anyone would, please leave your best and most effective tips.

HW: 160
LW: 115
CW: 120
GW: 100

Jan. 8th, 2014



I'm new, and I desperately need support and tips. I'm at my heaviest, and I would love to get down to my goal weight as quickly as possible. I feel disgusting, but I have a hard time doing it on my own.


Dec. 11th, 2013


Hi there.

Newbie here.
I'm 5'7.5" I wear a size 8 jean in AE.
HW-259 ...holy cow (I know super disgusting)
GW-130 or less

I restrict, binge/purge, over exercise. This S#!T gets lonely,
Shoot me a message if ya would like to be friends.

Much love ladies.

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